3 Mistakes (& Learning’s) of My Life !!

We keep facing incidents in life which will be lesson for us in various forms. However, some events will remain in your heart , keep reminding you to become a better person . This are some important lessons, which haunts me on regular intervals..!!

Learning 1:

Sometime in 1990’s.

Hey, why no one is joining today? I was enquiring with one of my friends in neighbourhood. It was a routine for us to meet in ground after school hours and play for some time. Reply was -Today was  birthday of a guy in our locality and some are invited for treat at his home. Oh, I was not aware, might have got missed, and pacified myself. Sometime later friends came home calling for his treat; I told was not aware, but joined the event unsolicited.

At party, I realised it was a small affair, for limited people and I was never meant to be invited. Well its fine I told again myself. Had cakes & snacks, of course, dinner, which I felt was too spicy,& went home happily. 

Next day, at playground, the birthday celebration was spoken in his presence.  Not sure why I did that, but commented about the spicy food, which we had for dinner. His face changed and I realised my blunder. An Uninvited guest, free food and making unwarranted comment!!

Learning I got – Never go to an uninvited place, and if gone for whatsoever reason, don’t comment on anything, since we have no right to comment after having free food as an unwelcomed person, barging in to a private function.

Learning 2:

Sometime in 1^st decade of 2000.

It was a hectic day. Failed in an interview (though intention was to make some money during vacation, which HR found out & rejected!!), got stuck in heavy rain while coming back and of course namma Bengaluru traffic Jam. By the time I reached home drenched, entire day was gone. 

As I enter the home, land-line rang. Friend was on call. He had been my buddy for years now. Had privilege of seeing coffee days, using mobile phones for first time, visiting new areas of Bengaluru, all thanks to him !! As I was completely stressed out that day, I was not in mood to speak, rather frustration was building up. But he continued speaking in his natural jolly mood even after knowing my situation. 

In bit of rage, I expressed displeasure of talking at that point of time, but it was in discourteous words.

That’s it!! I have not heard from him from past 10 + yrs. Initially I didn’t mind, but later years, I felt guilty, apologetic for being rude to him. Lost his phone number in some transition, have searched for him in social sites but in vain and hunt still continues.

Learning I got – Never speak in rage, and if spoken, don’t be egoistic in apologizing before it’s too late. Spoken Words & Broken Hearts cannot be rectified!!

Learning 3:

Sometime between 2004 – 2010

Hey Sharath, need your help. I have one campus interview to attend, can you please drop me. I did so, and waited in his college campus for him to finish the interview and drop him back. After all, he was one of my good buddies for many years now. 

He got job in a big MNC, life moved on for many years, until one day he called me. I had one rarely used, but well maintained two wheeler at home, and he wanted me to sell that to him, for his younger brother. 

Looking at his financial commitments & conditions, agreed to give my vehicle, but not by selling, instead free. Only condition was, he has to maintain it well and return it to me when he doesn’t want. Before handing over, I serviced it and gave.

Ten months later, got a call, saying he is no more need of it and would like to return.  Without clue on what I will be facing, I agreed.  As I saw my vehicle being brought back by him, heart sank. It was damaged on a side, from mudguard to tail lamp, full of dust, and webs. He had not even cleaned it before passing back. Insurance was lapsed long back, didn’t bother to renew it. 

I was badly hurt to see it in that condition, since it was with great interest and persuading, I had bought it and maintained. When questioned, he didn’t have proper answer and before I could recover from shock, he had left the place.

I spent some thousands to service, but never got its original shape. Finally disposed it off, free of cost to a deserving & eligible person, who wanted to make use of it.

Few months later, when met in a program asked him, if his deed was good. He argued that nothing was damaged, and he has returned it in same condition he had got. I felt pathetic and kept quiet. After few days, he called to take my bank account number; with assurance of transferring the amount I had spent to repair it.  It never got credited, as expected.

That was the last interaction I had, after that it became a courtesy smile if met on occasions and his priorities changed. Recently heard, he has grown in career, with high income, luxury car & hi-tech gadgets. Nothing thrilled me to know about his growth, but felt sympathetic and pity for him for running away from a friend who had helped him in different situations, for sake of few thousands..!! 

It was also a lesson to me, to not trust by face value, since money can change people in different directions. Also learnt, never give your personal assets to any one, because for them it will never have that personal responsibility and it will also end up in loosing relationships.

Being Human (Resources)

This week, as I enter one more year of being in the field of people management, thought of retrospecting this turf.

One of the funniest, common (and some time irritating too) question I have heard in this field is – HR? Do you guys work? What work you guys have!!? Etc..

I am sure this question is faced by most of my HR friends also. For outsiders its very simple job because they don’t see our efforts unlike many other roles, nor we use any machines, codes etc. But inside story is different.

When we interact with associates, we need to analyze back of our mind, what might be going on in his / her mind and what answers we need to give. Many times it will be right analysis and some time it back fires, putting us in spot.

Even when we are undergoing turmoil in life due to various factors, we are expected to keep ourselves cool and answer all types of questions we are faced without showing our pains within.

The most difficult tasks we are faced are, when we are supposed to terminate employment of fellow associates. If its disciplinary action, somewhere we can justify our job, but in all other case, we are burned with psychological pressure of snatching someone’s livelihood, which we can’t share it outside, as that is the job demand.

In some earlier assignments, I have personally spent days together in office without breaks for project completion, missing personal commitments, facing taunts, nevertheless still I have smiled when people asked if I have any work.

There are many examples, where managers don’t perform this difficult role of people management of communicating any news to their team members but direct them to us, saying HR decision!! Well, this is to be good in front of them and put us in situation. However, many associates have started understanding the game these managers are playing, thank god!! Saved from this at-least.

So what we do in an organization? In simple words, we are more like spokesperson for management, bridge for associates, and punching bag for all unfavorable things in the company.

It’s also a privilege role, where , we do our own joining formalities, prepare our exit documents, own confirmation letter print out, but don’t imagine next – We fix our appraisal percentage as well , No !! It’s not done by us!!

At end, if I question, was my decision of becoming a Management Graduate in HR, way back in school days was correct, I think yes. For my traits, I don’t think any other role would have best suited me, like this.

It has given me growth in careers, vast opportunities to work in different industry, interact with thousands of associates from 10^th pass to IIM graduates, received appreciations from people for helping them in their career guidance and decisions, which changed their personal life.

Definitely I feel proud, because, I work in the most complex area of mankind -   Human Brains.

Dasera Dasappa of Mandya & Dignified Coolies of India…

Scene 1:

Dasera Dasappa is a character in one of the famous books by Mr. H.L. Nagegowda. In his book “Nannuru” the author gives a detailed description of his village in a remote corner of Mandya in Karnataka. It revolves around the social situation of 60’s & 70’s

Throughout the novel, we find many such people who are economically poor, but rich in culture & heritage, with high regards to well-being of fellow people, lively,by finding happiness in even small things.

One Such character is Dasappa, whose ultimate dream is to visit Mysore during Dasera and watch the procession live with his wife & two sons. For this purpose, he saves his life earnings, collects resources from neighbours, plans day by day itinerary and when he starts his journey to Mysore, entire village assembles to wish them safe journey. Some of them even give their wish list to get from the city.

On reaching city, he and his family feel proud of achieving their aim of life but also felt lost in that richness and crowd. In one episode, they visit a restaurant and order masala dosa’s for entire family and when the bill arrives they are shocked, since it takes away lot of money from their kitty which they never imagined in their small world.  Similar funny events are recorded when they get stuck while crossing the traffic, or buying of clothes,or watching Dasera procession.  

Even in their insufficiency, the family stays together, enjoys the journey in different aspects and takes the reader to the timeline of what would have been the simple life of such people.

There was no money, social media, TV or mobile. But there was more values in life, affections in family, in person connect with nature, friends and relatives...

Scene 2:

Some weeks ago, happened to be in a lecturer session, where an intellectual was speaking on individual wellness. He used one word which I felt very interesting and haunting – the current generation is more inclined to become “Dignified Coolies of India”. Am I also one?  The answer was surely - Yes!!

No doubt, the IT ITES revolution has brought in sea changes to our country in terms of employment opportunities and revenue to all sectors. But at what cost?

Today if any country in Americas or Europe sneezes, we will shiver. If they cough we drink water, is it required to be so over dependent on foreign countries economy to run our own country?

Look at China, even they have huge population, but they are not entirely dependent on the particular industry. They are dominating in most of the manufacturing sectors, and mostly running their economy on own,by encouraging exports.

In the name of technical advance, most of us have forgotten the basic requirements of life. We are glued to system for hours together, followed by virtual friends. Lost interest in our festivals but eagerly interested in different types of days what foreigners celebrate. We have acquired that negative feeling which says our culture, religion; customs are inferior compared to foreign countries.

Remember those days when we played on sand, on roads with tops, on terrace with kites, nothing happened to us. But why is that sudden change in our attitude. With advance of technology, we have side-lined our traditional games and sports, not introducing such things to our kids but make them addicted to tabs at young age? Is it next gen coolies getting ready for serving foreign soil? 

We are becoming too complicated, due to the impact of corporate culture in personal life as well. We are losing sensitivity towards our own society in the race of making more dollars. In a way, our life is getting billed by someone else for every hour we are alive!!

I am not saying we should not work for others, but we should not give away our life for some other country like this. We have our capabilities to become entrepreneurs, business initiatives and try exploring it.

Even if we work, we should not give away our Indianness from our life. No matter how beautiful the neighbouring house is, end of the day, we sleep comfortable only in our house..Similarly no matter how good other country might be, for us, India is ultimate. We need to keep that in mind. If something is not correct here, let’s use try to change it instead of always criticizing it.

Let’s dedicate some time in our routine to society, family, and friends. At end no one will remember how many assignments I have closed for some client, but what matters is, how we spent time with family, and what was my contribution to fellow people and country is.

There are many opportunities we can find these days to distress ourselves from the hectic life, we need to show some interest and start identifying such chance which connects us back to our roots.  Try doing this and see the change...

The New Monkey

Mahatma Gandhi’s three monkeys is a well-known point for most of us. In school it was thought, we also would have seen in art & sculptures, paintings and also in some movies... this famous three monkeys represents the principle of “see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil”.

Though originally from Japanese philosophy it became famous due to Mahatma Gandhi’s usage.

It’s true, when we strictly follow this principles of - no see, no hear or no speak evil, we can actually gain lot of peace in life, avoid conflicts and save relationships from breaking.  Isn’t it?

When we look in depth, feel there is a need of one more Monkey apart from this three.

The New Monkey?!! What will it depict?

I think, there is one more area which needs our attention – “Read no Evil”

These days, whichever area we read, we find lot of undesirable news. It might be either in area of governance, environment, movies, accidents, crimes, layoffs, slow economy, drought etc...

Some of the news is actually sources of information for us to think twice and take corrective actions.

But what is the use of other types of information like crimes glorifying, false claims, manipulated articles, unidirectional books etc.? Isn’t it waste of time for us to read such materials and later deploy our thoughts. There can be also situation of such info haunting us for long time.

With the onslaught of social Medias and technology reach, we are being accessed with lot of information, which would have not required to all.

Personally my experience is that, there are certain books, papers, magazines in market which try to bring in negativity around us. When stopped reading it, at least, we would save both, time and also adverse feelings.

Some examples we can quote are – 

if it’s raining, either we can show the positive side of dams are being filled or negativism of only showing how people going for shopping had to suffer and cribbed due to rain. What is more essential for us?

Due to Iraq conflicts, crude oil prices have become volatile, and prices are varying. What Indian government can do in such situation, except adjusting the prices in our market? Instead of showing the actual facts leading to price hike, most of the media is highlighting why Modi is not able control this. 

Reading such repeated articles, sure mind of common man can be corrupted.

As our mind, so as our thoughts and thoughts leads our actions!!

Henceforth, I am planning to avoid the new evil religiously and save myself of unnecessary info getting clogged in me. 

The Story of a Pura..

Sometime in 1991-92 on a bright day -

Hey Sharath! Pramod called me while returning to class from a break. We both were classmates for some years and now in third standard. Being in same neighborhood, we also got chance to spend time after school, usually in each other’s house or nearby playground, hence become fairly close as well.

This is my last year in this school!! I was surprised and saddened to hear this news from him.  He continued – my parents are relocating to different town hence I will be parting.

Though not such great news for me, I enquired where he will be going. But he was not sure of the town name, except it will end as some “pura”.

That day evening I was in front of my atlas, making list of all the “pura”s in Karnataka!! Bijapura, Sakaleshpura, Pandavapura etc and next day read all of them to him.

None of the above he said, I will ask my parents and let you know the town name soon. However I was wondering which town on earth which is not in my atlas he is going to?

Few days later he broke the suspense of the town name. It was Krishnarajapura, somewhere outside Bengaluru was the information I could gather on it.  

Just before we departed, he asked if I can present my foreign eraser to him. Without second thought I gave and in return he gave me a black color hot wheel car as memoir.

Those were the days we didn’t even have landline numbers to exchange and we lost touch after the exams…

Now in 2014, once some pura outside Bengaluru has become a major hub - Krishnarajapura, popularly known as KR Puram within the city limits. Whenever I travel here, through the bustling crowd, this incident riposte, bringing nostalgic smile .Though I know it’s nearly impossible to find, my eyes will be looking out for a friend whom I have missed for many years.  

Why AAP should not be Hamara Choice, at least this time!!

Before becoming critic on the AAP, let us also take this opportunity to congratulate them for creating interest on politics in Indian youth. When politics was actually becoming playground for some scam stars and unfaithful leaders, AAP created buzz among us on the political beliefs and drew substantial crowd in to it.

But its stops there…!!

Let us review some points on why this time voting for AAP may not be the right choice for Hum (we).

1. Ideology Factor – what is the belief of this party? Is it right, centre or left. Are they conservative, liberal? No one is sure what they want to achieve. Yes corruption is one of the biggest evil in India but one word “corruption” can’t be an ideology for long run. Any party in the world participating in democratic process will have some principals, but this is missing in AAP.

During the rule of 49 days, how many “U turns” they took?  We might have lost count. This happens with parties who are not sure what they should achieve for the people.  

When asked, they didn’t have idea on foreign relations and how we can expect them to run a country like India with multiple borders.

It seems they are more eager to contest parliament election and become rulers of the country, and how it’s possible to get 272 seats without aligning with any fronts? Isn’t it overzealous?

2. Failure to run government – no matter what reasons this party leaders give, it’s evident that they actually abandoned the government in 49 days and came back to election mode. They had golden opportunity to run, prove themselves in administration but they let down their own supporters by escapism.

They are propagating of not supporting or take support of any fronts, and is it possible to win power without support of others? Every vote we cast will go waste; since it’s sure they will not come to power on their own and might repeat the Delhi story again even if they get few seats.

3. Tie up with Congress – after fighting congress in Delhi resentfully, what was the need for tying up with them again. Isn’t it like accepting your enemy as friend just for the sake of power? When the mandate came, it was not for AAP but BJP leading and second large was they. Congress was routed to third position that means it was clear anti incumbency. In such a scenario tying up with congress is nothing but opportunistic politics or is it supporting the rumors that they are “B team” of congress, given birth to divide anti congress votes, keeping BJP/NDA away from power?

4. Street Dramas – being a CM of a state, is like taking responsibility of the affairs and well being of citizens, but this might be a rare incident of CM sitting Dharana demanding few things? Isn’t it anarchy or trying to hide from responsibilities in name of Dharana?

One of their ministers was involved in a raid , mid of the night , in the name of controlling crimes , what kind of administration we can expect from such minster’s who try to take law in to their hands and create lawlessness. Let’s not forget, this incident could have affected our international relations with other countries.

5  5. Targeting Particular Party - time and again it was rumored the AAP is a B Team of Congress, helping them to retain power, though it was not proved with evidence. But the conduct of party in the lokhsabha elections, is pointing towards that direction.

Why AAP is interested in fighting only Modi, and forgotten the incumbent congress? Are they not finding any scams? Or is tactical deafness to keep away from them?

It’s really comical to see, a person who couldn’t govern for 49 days keep criticizing an opponent who has run government for more than 10 years and even more funnier when he keeps quiet of congress/UPA governance.

Let them start governing local bodies, corporations and slowly get in to bigger ring after proving their governance.

Dear Friends, think twice before voting this time, every vote is valuable. We are in verge of writing history, if we make mistake of voting wrong people, with doubtful intentions, we will regret later. Spread the message; let’s be part of making history.

The time is ripped, flower is ready to bloom, let’s not swipe it with hand!! 

An appeal from not so Happy Bird..!!

Hi !! My name is Indian House Sparrow. It’s little uncomfortable to introduce myself like this, but sadly that’s the situation I am living. Just few years ago I use to be part of most of the households, but sighting me has become an amaze now , not sure of how many of you have noticed this developments in few years.

There are many among you who have grown up listening our ಕಾಗಕ್ಕ ಗುಬಕ್ಕ stories, by that way I became part of your childhood memories and I feel proud that I was part of your growth & environment.

With changing life style & new gadgets, humans have forgotten the living happy birds and spending hours playing angry birds virtually!!

Earlier days we were given space in rooftops & walls by making hollow blocks so that we can make our nest there. This was found even in single floor house. But now? With multi-storeys all over, even on 30^th floor we don’t have chance to see if we can build a small nest.

I had chance to visit every house , people use to share food with me, by throwing  broken rice , cereals  in to garden, we used to pluck fruits , sit on the branches, sing songs and bring in smiles.

Increased radio waves, pollution, chemicals and pesticides, chopping of trees, and consumption of ready-made & ultra-cleaned cereals has made our life miserable and forced us out of the environment. Yes our disappear may not cost you people now, but in future I am sure you will miss us.

Give us also chance to be part of your eco system, let’s make this planet home for all and not only for human consumption. If not, in future you will imagine me, like how you visualise dinosaurs and dudu was.

In your busy schedules of the weekdays, in your party time on weekends, give some thought on us also. There are many initiatives taken by various organisations to encourage the sparrows in environment, like adopting bird nest, bird food feeder, arranging for water source during summer, planting saplings as much possible etc., make note of them and help us.

By the way, 20^th March is World Home Sparrow Day!! Wish next year I will celebrate this with many more of my relatives , like a calm, composed and a tranquil bird with your support..

                                                                                                          Yours Friendly Bird

                                                                                                         Indian House Sparrow